April 4, 2017 - Thoughts on Perfectionism Online

I want you to know that I am not the smiling girl you see in this photo. I am a mess of a person just trying to get through the next hour. The next minute. The next second. 

I'm sure this comes as a surprise to many of you because if you've met me recently, you would say I'm in the healthiest mindset I've ever been in. 
But that's just a persona I'm putting on. The real me is tucked away for the very small amount of people I let in. 

But I want you to know that I am far from perfect. I am a human being that has good and bad days. And to be completely honest, there have been more bad than good days recently. I have mental meltdowns every other day and I battle every minute with OCD. Yesterday, I sat on my bathroom floor crying because I couldn't get a ring off of my finger. An hour later I became so angry with a personal situation that I slammed my hands down on my kitchen table over and over to release some of the inner demons that were eating me alive. 

Because we live in an online world, it's so easy to fall into the mindset that everyone has their shit together and you're the odd one out. But I'm here today to tell you that you're going to be okay, and every single person has an Instagram life, and a real life. Don't buy in to the pretty girls with flowers in their hair. Look for the girls that wake up every morning and fight. Everyone has a battle. So stop scrolling through their aesthetic and search for the real person. 

I encourage you to start posting about how you ACTUALLY feel. Post that you had a shitty day. Post that you felt frustrated over a bunch of tiny things. Let's stop setting unrealistic expectations for mental health and become human again! 

I am not perfect. So please do not ever think that I am. 


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